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Joe was driving down I-20 going from Morgan to Cobb County when his cell phone started ringing. It wasn’t from someone he knew but still he answered it.

“Hey, Rocky, how is it going?” the voice on the other end was soft and flirtatious with a giggle as her question mark.

Joe was stuck in traffic and bored out of his fucking skull. “Yo, this traffic on I-20 is awful. I wish someone would take those crooked Republicans who now run the State of Georgia, get them out of their planes and put them on these fucking ass roads. They might understand some lanes or alternative routes need to be added.”

“Tell me about. I don’t think I am ever going to make it to Stonecrest Mall.”

“Yeah, there is a wreck about a mile before you get there. It took me thirty minutes to get past there.”

“Well. It was nice talking with you but I know you are not Rocky.”

“I could be. Let me pretend.”

“No. You don’t want to pretend to be him. I met him down in Buckhead the other night. He was totally coming on to me. I gave him my number. The damned creep gave me your number and not his.”

“Probably married.”

“I guess.”

“Yeah. He and his husband are probably over at Lennox picking out their China Pattern right now.”

Joe liked the sound of her laughter as she told him. “You are bad. I like that.”

Joe asked, “So should I ask what your name is.”

“You can ask but I am not sure I should tell you. What if you are a friend of Rocky and he gave me your number because you are a little midget.”

“Little midget.” Joe laughed. “Nothing wrong with short people. But I am 5’13.”

“6’1, alright. You a big one. God, now I guess I should tell you that I one of those short people. I am 5’4.”

“That is not too short.”

“So, what color is your hair or maybe you don’t have hair. Maybe that is why Rocky gave me your number.”

“I got hair. I keep it cut kind on the short side. But, uh, I am one of those blonde male bimbo’s.”

“Yea, we got something in common. It is fun to play dumb, isn’t it.”

“Well, it isn’t rocket science.”

“Or maybe it is. You see Britney Spears when she is jerking the media’s chains. She has got it down to an art.”

“You will probably hang up now but I love Ms. Spears. The media so hates us sinners.”

“Something else in common. But now I don’t like liars and I don’t like thieves. I totally love sex though. But don‘t think I am a whore. I do have standards.”

“I did pass my last girlfriends background check. When I found out she had a detective checking up on me, that bitch was so history. Broke her heart when I broke up with her. But you know when I want to play the bad boy I don’t want her to have some damned detective report telling her how I was a choirboy.”

“You were a choirboy. Catholic?”

“No. I was in the church choir. I was raised a Baptist but I don’t go to church any more.”

“Neither do I. I choose to believe in a loving God and the preacher did not seem to believe in a loving God. Course, he believed in pinching my ass every chance he got. He was such a damnable hypocrite. But he did have a ten inch cock and he totally did know how to use it.”

“You had sex with the preacher.”

“Do you think that makes me a bad person?”

“I think it makes you an interesting person. So, was it like an affair.”

“Yeah, an affair that ended really badly. His x-wife tried to kill me.”

“Oh my God.”

“She acted like she was trying to run me down. She wasn’t really. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Were they married at the time.”

“Yeah. I am not proud of it. I was 18 at the time and a total idiot. There was just something about him. When I was around him, it was like I had no brain of my own. Just his touch would make me so horny.”

“Are the windows in your car tinted enough so that people can’t really see what you are doing?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you moving or stopped.”

“I am stopped.”

“Can you send me a picture of your breast?”

“Send you a picture of my breast. Are you crazy? I don‘t even know you.”

“I am bored. I want to see your breast.”

“Oh my God. I am talking to such a pervert.”

“Is someone in the car with you?”

“Yeah, my friend Brad. Here is a picture of his breast.”

Joe looked at the picture. “He is a muscular dude. Nice abs. Like what does he do? Work out 24 x 7.”

“He works out a lot, but not that much.”

“So, have you and him ever have sex.”

“The Preacher is the one who introduced us. We had a three way once.”

“Oh. I see. I guess.”
“Do I hear judgment in your voice?”

“No.”

“Richard wants to see a picture of your breast.”

“Okay. I haven’t worked out but here it is.”

“Not bad. Richard says actually pretty good.”

“So Richard likes me better than you.”

“Here is a picture of Richard’s cock. Now send us a picture of your cock.”

“I am moving right now, but just a second. Okay here is.”

“I think someone is getting turned on. Thick and with a bend. Cool.”

“Now send me picture of your breast.”

As Joe was looking at the picture of her breast he run up under a semi and was killed. Those were some killer breast. Sad. But at least he died with a smile on his face.